So it’s now 2006, and I’m destined to screw up my next few rent cheques to be sure.

Spent a fairly quiet new years eve and day with a friend, went to dinner then played games and watched movies until the crucial moment, drank some sparkling white wine a couple minutes past midnight due to my inability to get the damn plastic cork out, and continued the relaxed adventures further into the night. This morning I tried my hand at pancakes, the fancy ones that only need water, the high of the culinary art. At least I managed not to screw them up, heh.

What of new years resolutions, I was asked… I tend not to have them, it just combines a self-promise which an easily remembered date so that when you inevitably break it, you know it and it seems much worse then if some arbitrary starting point was picked. And god knows that I’ve broken all of mine, given by the evidence that I’m still alive (as one was a do-this-or-die resolution, so much for self-threats too). Anyway, let’s see if I can come up with some resolutions which I’m almost certain to break.

1. Lose mass and volume – chance of breaking: 99.99%

I’ve tried this many many many times before, in different forms, and I’m now up to wanting to lose several multiples or a normal persons weight, as I’m just that far gone. Regardless of what I think other people think of me, there is a strong desire to just improve myself. I have no real hope of becomeing attractive, but I can work to being less repulsive.

2. Catharsis – chance of breaking: 80%

I’ve played the part of the fool once more, and had become emotionally charged over someone who could never return that sentiment. After casually-planned interrogation-like questioning over quite a long time, the problem with me can’t be tracked to anything specific I can change, but some fudamental element of my being. If mind-swapping were possible I might have tried it, but even then I can’t say that would have raised my chances above the negative. To continue to hope for this is to smash myself against the rocks in what I can only describe as a pathetic fashion, so I must purge my heart of any further desire for what has shown to be impossible. I’m also willing to use a sort of induction of this problem and conclude that quite a few billion other things are also impossible. If I could manage it, I’d probably be better for it, but as the bullet of this entry indicates, my resolve has never been very high.

Further, I should never pursue a girl who’s name ends in ‘a’, I’ve noticed a pattern. Yes, it makes perfect sense. As much sense as a robotic car freaking out when it looses sight of the grass, or a rock that keeps tigers away

3. Finish a project – chance of breaking: 50%

I’ve had a number of little side projects over the years, games and such, and I never seem to finish any of them. So to round off this list to three, I’ll resolve to continue working on at least one of them. Asylum is nearly dropped again, should pick it up again dang nammit.

By 2007, I’m sure I will have gained 50 pounds, have had my heart smashed out again, and created and dropped a number of projects.

Oh, I guess that should be a fourth one then

4. Be more optimistic – chance of breaking: 0%

There, that’s my optimism for the year.