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A lament (with a twist)

Filed under: General — 19day @ 05:31:21

Many years ago, we got a pair of kittens, brother and sister, which we named Hobbes and Missy, begot by Cuddles, my aunt’s cat. For years we enjoyed them, with only a slightly serious illness befalling Hobbes early on, and Missy disappearing for two days as she had fallen in an old well, but they both were recovered.

Then the Coyotes came, as they had before, but apparently not while we first had the cats. They lived on the Far End of the lake, we heard their howling, but took no heed. Hobbes was lost to us one christmas many years ago, and his sister lived in fear, yet still braved the outside, for she needed to hunt. Yet doom came to her, despite her alertness of surroundings, and on labour day of this year she was taken.

A month later, still grieving, we were told of a cat who had been living on the far side of the lake for some time. He was obviously once a pet, for he had been fixed, but now a stray being supported by the cottagers on the Far End, and they worried that with summer over and them departing, that the cat would not survive, and so it passed that Burroughs came to us. He was a cat unlike any we had ‘ere known, friendly, talkative, cuddly to the point of confusing it with aggression.

For at first he seemed content to remain always within the house, but eventually his heart turned outward to the chase, and with his moans and cries eventually weakened Mother’s will, and she let him out, but only for a short time each day. As the weather warmed, he desired to be out ever longer, and he was either without the house, or within making such noise that we could hardly withstand it, and we let him roam later and later.

Now, last night, he did not return, nor will he, for he always stayed close to home, and entered frequently to drink and eat and immediately withdraw to the hunt once again. We will indeed wait long for his coming.

I’ve read the The Silmarillion recently, and I felt like speaking in somewhat grander terms, and this story does feel like an epic, to me at least. We keep losing cats, Burroughs we only had for around 8 months or so, and he had such personality that I doubt I’ll ever find again. The top of my mother’s computer tower is adorned with a number of cat related objects, and standing most promenantly are two pictures frames, one of Hobbes, one of Missy… and it seems a third one will need to be added. It’s fitting enough that the graveyard should be in photographs only, for in my entire conscious history of having cats, we’ve never buried one. They merely disappear amid the howling from the Far End.

I had joked that when I got my own place, I would get 40 cats, a la Cat Lady from the simpsons. At this point, I don’t know if I could handle even one. Sure, in Toronto a housecat (as I should hope it would be) is not likely to be eaten by coyotes, but die it will, and I’ve had about enough cat-death as I’m willing to tolorate for the time being. As for here, one of the hardest things about losing Missy was the thought of putting away all her things, the litter boy and scratching post and food dishes, but Burroughs needed all those things, and so they remained… but I doubt we will be getting another cat, at least, not for a long while.

Goodbye Burroughs, you deserved better than this.

Now I just feel silly…

I waited until this morning, when it was light, to write the above. I checked outside, walked in my slippers and pajamas around the house, calling for him, figuring if he was to come home, he would have by then. Alas, nothing.

Then the neighbour came by, as she does each day, to ‘pick up’ our dog on her and her dog’s walk. She just knocks on the door, Joey comes running, and she lets him out into the breezeway. I was in the computer room, playing a game to distract myself, not having slept. The door closed, the neighbour was leaving… then the door opened for half a second and closed again… I thought, she must have put the paper on the counter or something… I didn’t consider the — and then cat came walking into the office, not meowing (as he usually does), and just looked around. I went over and picked him up, and held him as if questioning his existence, wondering if it was a dream… as I have had those dreams before, of Hobbes and Missy, and woken and felt terrible… but I was still awake.

So apparently he is an irritating sort of cat that will, first time in 8 months, dissapear and hunt overnight. *sigh*



Filed under: General — 19day @ 11:43:48

Apparently I’m employable, who knew? Well, Alicia knew, but even she is surprised at the speed in which I found employment, given when I started sending off applications. It was a good little holiday, but it will soon be over. The next trick, is to figure out where I am to live. The options are to either find a place in toronto to rent, or to live at home and get a lift in to the subway, and I haven’t decided which I will do, as one has high cost, while the other has long commutes.

I’d like to be off on my own at this point, if at the very least to escape the earwigs, but I have very few funds at the moment, and need to save up enough to actually pay for life. But first a life is needed, then the circle will be complete, first I was but the learner, now I am the master.

Only a master of evil, darth.


New Menu Item

Filed under: zygote — 19day @ 23:48:38

I added a new menu item to the left (the menu for the entire site that is). Zygote now has it’s own section, a pretty poor, pathetically coded section, but I just don’t care enough to make a nice page for it. It just has the description, instructions on how to compile the game, the docs, and screenshots.

I doubt this will be of interest to anyone.

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