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mah jongg, we hardly knew ye

Filed under: General — 19day @ 22:51:55

I was taught how to play a game I thought I already knew, but of course, it originally being Chinese, I had played a bastardized version.

The short version is you shuffle the tiles, make 4 rows of 2 high stacked 18 tiles. There are some dice involved and you roll to decide where you start taking tiles (this bit gets fuzzy for me, from memory) and you take your tiles. One end of the remaining gap in the rows is the beginning, the other is the end. You take turns, taking a new tile from the beginning, and discarding another one. You can pick up the tile in the discard area only if it is the last one discarded, unless you can win from picking the last tile discarded by either player, in which case you can do that, but only if it causes you to win. Also, you can only pick up if it completes a ‘pattern’, and you must then set the pattern down for all to see, and continue with a discard.

If you have any flower tiles at the start, you must show them, and pick as many tiles from the end of the rows, and if you pick one up in the course of the game, you immediately set it down and take a new tile from the end.

To win (ignoring the complicated scoring system), you need a pair of something, and then the rest must be ‘patterns’. Patterns are either ’straights’, made up of the same kind of number tiles (chinese numbers, bams (sticks), or circles), which are in sequences of 3, no more, no less… or they can be 3 of a kind, or 4 of a kind, or something. If you pick up a discarded tile (following the rules of whos you can pick up) to complete a set, you must say something, I prefer ‘Yangzi’, which is like a Chinese Yatzee or something. Or yell ‘bingo’, or ‘you sank my scrabbleship’.

This game was bloody confusing, especially for one I thought was matching two tiles and taking them off the table, gah.

Here are the fun tiles:
These are the sticks, or bams, they are numeric, and fairly easy to understand, except the bird for number 1, which is baffling.

These are wheels, or circles, they are also numeric, colours are meaningless. At least this is easy to count.

These are the chinese numbers, and the hardest bit for me. 1, 2 and 3 are easy, like roman numerals on their side, 4 is easy enough. 5 is just a jumble of crap, which is how I remembered it. 6 looks like a little hut to me. 7 looks like an upsidedown 7. 8 is a lamda, and 9 is like a cursive r. Lovely, it’s great trying to work out if you have a straight if you can’t understand the numbers :P


These are the cardinal directions of the wind, and the seasons, just match them up, lest headaches set in.


These are, apparently, dragons. When I played, I thought the first was a dagger thing, the middle one was just “the ugly”, and the last one was, cleverly enough, “rectangle”


These are so easy that they are like a blind spot, see a flower, lay it down.

They tried to explain scoring, but I threatened to kill myself, so they stopped.

I’ll go play the tile matching game now.

The Border Between What and What?

Filed under: General — 19day @ 22:11:42

I took this mental health test a while back, but had no blog to post the results on, but now I do. The major findings of this test were symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. Well woop-di-doo, whatever, I thought, but then I decided to look up what Borderline Personality Disorder meant exactly (definitions provided by the same site) and it was kinda scary actually. Like those “draw a picture and I can tell your personality” things, where they get it mostly wrong, but one thread comes through clearly, except this one was quite good.

Here are the best bits:

People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all.

Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.

Basically, that’s me in a nutshell for that kind of thing. I can feel a friend is worth so much to me, then a little tiny thing happens, and it’s like the feeling drains and needs constant reassurance, recapacitance, to maintain the feeling, otherwise I switch down to being worthless in their eyes, and disliking them. And rejection and abandonment are my biggest fears, and of course, the ones that reoccur seemingly regularly.

I also feel as if I am insanely jealous… by the definition I learned in my Philosophy of Love class. Jealously isn’t envy, if I’m jealous of someone, it’s not that I want to be them or have what they have, it’s that I’m fearful that I’ll lose them, that they will drop out of my life, or not serve the function in my life that is most desired by me. But how can I fear losing someone, if they were never mine in the first place?

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